Went thru my colors! account to make sure I have everything before I delete it for the last time..
Skimming thru it made me think of some old people I knew.
Checked out their old colors accounts too, naturally there's nothing new on them since 2016 by the latest. Can't even guarantee they're even alive at this point honestly.
Also ran into the old emojis I made for a friend group I was in up till a few years ago now. Wave of emotions really trying to drown me now.
I seriously can not wrap my head around the fact that I've been on and off with that platform for a little over a decade now.
And it's honestly been absolutely miserable.
Any good memories I had ended up not meaning anything to me after they've been shredded to pieces by the same people who I had them with, and to be honest, the good memories were far and few in between to begin with.
Coming out from this, I have 2 people who still kinda talks with me, 1 MIA, who I miss so dearly I'd do anything to see them again, at least 6 who I want to physically hurt really, really bad, and plenty others who all have lost their faith in me as a person.
I want to recluse, I know it's not healthy for me but I feel it's best for mental health right now, at least at the social media level.
Trying to run art accounts right after a traumatic experience relating to some folks was a dumb, stupid idea for coping.
I'll be on an indefinite hiatus until further notice, sorry.